Dear Diary
by Tsukiko no Yuki
Summary: [PreHebiarc] Orochimaru makes his favorite subjects share a room and who are they? None other but fiery Karin and cool Suigetsu of course! And what's this? A diary...? [SuiKa fluff]


**Disclaimer: Sorry, this is not Kishi-san typing. :D Therefore, it also means I don't own Naruto. Waah!

* * *

**

**Day I: Roomies!**

_or The One In Which Karin Wants Sushi_

**Karin's POV**

**Day I: 11:00 p.m.  
**

So Orochimaru-sama said he wanted to read our diaries.

Okay, so not exactly. For one, people in here just don't write in their diaries. (It's NOT girly! For the last time, it's NOT girly!) I just can't understand why. If you write your training process, you can plan ahead of how much you can learn, and you can effectively raise your fighting skills.

Well, Orochimaru-sama didn't exactly use the word 'diary' (I'm not saying he's dumb, but I've a faint suspicion he doesn't know what it means), he actually said 'daily report'. But it's just the same thing, isn't it?

So anyway… I don't really mind Orochimaru-sama knowing my secrets (I think he knows them all anyway), but I just don't really think it's a good idea. Orochimaru-sama does of course get a lot of good ideas all the time, but this one just wasn't really good.

He said we (the best subjects) were going to get their own rooms, but have to share. I wonder who I'll end up with; hopefully not with that Hyuuga guy. So I know he's kidnapped and everything, but I think he's a pervert. People say Hyuuga's bloodline ability is to see through everything, so that means he can see through my shirt, right? Or my pants?

Okay, so I'm prejudicial! But just look at him! He's even worse than that Mr. Turquoise Head with Shark Teeth guy.

Mm, shark meat…

Oh god. I'm in need of sushi. Maybe I should ask (hah, more like blackmail) Kabuto to make sushi for me. But then Orochimaru-sama would find out, and then he'd probably be disappointed in me for having need in such materialistic things.

Even though sushi isn't materialistic. It's food! And food is heavenly – err, I mean, essential for the best results of training.

Oh damn. It's that grey-haired Kabuto kid again (I bet he's an old man in disguise)… I just want to crush his glasses and send him flying whenever I see him! He's leaning over my shoulder –

THE SHARINGAN IS A BLOODLINE ABILITY ONLY THE CLAN OF UCHIHA KNOWS.

In your face, son of a bitch!

And of course I know about the Sharingan. I'm not stupid, you know. What with that Uchiha kid Orochimaru-sama's after and all… but he IS cute.

Very cute.

UCHIHA ITACHI IS THE SOLE SURVIVOR (AND CAUSE) OF THE UCHIHA CLAN MASSACRE EXCEPT HIS LITTLE BROTHER, UCHIHA SASUKE, AND CURRENTLY RESIDES IN AKATSUKI.

And of course I'll continue writing. I know it's very disturbing, and that's exactly why I'm doing it, shithead.

Oh? Roommates? Hear, hear… I'm happy as long as I'm not with the Blind Pervert or Shark Teeth.

Oh, sushi… wherefore art thou sushi?

* * *

**Day I, 11:30 p.m.**

WHAT? ROOMIES WITH SHARK TEETH, THAT STUCK-UP, ARROGANT, IDIOTIC BASTARD SON OF A BITCH?

* * *

**Day I, 12:30 p.m.**

I still can't believe it! My roommate is none other than Mr. Shark Teeth! Oh god, I hate him so much. He just peeked into my room (how dare he?) when I howled at Kabuto, with a sneer plastered onto his face which I soon will mutilate.

'Happy with Orochimaru's plans? I thought you loved everything he did. You should love this, too.'

Damn it. Why did he catch my kunai with his teeth? He even broke it! And damn! That was my _favorite _kunai! I killed ten annoying ANBU with it the other day!

Grr. Now I'm mad. I'm SO going to take him DOWN –

THE HYUUGA CLAN POSSESSES THE SPECIAL BLOODLINE OF BYAKUGAN, WHICH CAN SEE THROUGH EVERYTHING.

Damn Kabuto and his appearances. He caught me off-guard, which is so disgraceful.

'What?' I just snap at him.

'Still reading bloodline abilities basics?' He smirks. 'Orochimaru-sama wants you to pack your belongings. You're moving _now_.'

I glare at him. 'Don't boss me around like you're the master.'

He just pushes his round (annoying) glasses further up his nose. I badly want to shatter the pieces, shove them down his throat and use a kunai to slit it so I can cut him into pieces with the rest of the glass shards –

OROCHIMARU-SAMA CURRENTLY HAS THE TWIN BROTHER OF THE HYUUGA CLAN HEAD IN HIS POSSESSION AS A RESULT OF A DEAL (AND A MASSACRE) AND PLANS TO RUN TESTS ON HIM. THE RESULTS WILL MOST EFFECTIVELY BE POSITIVE.

Damn that grey-haired kid. Now he's finally gone.

But still…

Roomies with Shark Teeth?! I bet it was Kabuto's idea. I'm going to dig one thousand kunais into his skin, rip him apart with it afterwards, then Katon and Suiton and Doton him, then kick him high into the air, beat him down and slice him into pieces and then have him make me one million pieces of sushi before I kill him completely –

Ooh, sushi…

* * *

**Day I: 15:30**

Okay, I've packed and unpacked my belongings but apparently I'm not allowed to eat (thankfully it wasn't Kabuto who was delivering the message… just a very unimportant messenger, I don't think Orochimaru-sama will miss him/his corpse anyway) without my roommate present. What the fuck?!

So where's Shark Teeth anyway? I'm getting real pissed off. If he doesn't show up…

Well, at least there's not much to complain about the room. It's certainly bigger than my previous one, complete with a bathroom and even a kitchenette, so it's a bit like a mini-apartment. The beds are far away from each other, so I don't have to worry about anything…

We even got a new set of weapons. Cool, it's like being in a hotel, I guess.

But then again, hotels have sushi available, don't they?

* * *

**Day I: 16:30**

Damn. He still hasn't showed up. Where the hell is he?

It's not like I _want _him to show up, though. Hell no. I just want him to show up because I want my food.

If I don't get sushi for dinner…

* * *

**Day I: 19:30**

Okay, I seriously need to kill someone NOW. Ooh, somebody's knocking on my door.

* * *

**Day I: 20:30**

Today I've already killed two (unimportant) subordinates, I hope that Shark Teeth shows up now, or else Orochimaru-sama will probably be pissed that I'm on such a killing rampage today (rampage my _ass_, Kabuto! It were TWO people, can you even count?)…

So it's true that I broke his arm too, but that wasn't such a big deal, was it? He's a medic, after all, he can heal his own injuries… (Even though I _did _drain his chakra first…)

And besides, he said that a true warrior doesn't want sushi. _Grr_.

I seriously hope Orochimaru-sama will reward us greatly, after the suffering I've been through (I – HATE – WAITING) and the suffering I _will _face (I'd rather share a room with _Kabuto _than him… oh wait, they're equally annoying, I bet they're twins).

* * *

**D****ay I: 22:00**

Somebody _please _remind me to poison Mr. Arrogant Son of a Bitch with Shark Teeth in his sleep.

So this is what happened:

About one and half an hour ago, he _finally _showed up, being rewarded with showers of swearing, name-calling, criticizing, yelling, etc, etc as he walked through the door. But the very annoying son of a bitch just put down his things, told me to shut up because I was loud very lightly and dumped his enormous bag on his bed.

Furious as I was, I demanded to know where he had been. He just lay down on his bed, ignoring me, until the point when I was so inclined to kill him in an instant that he, feeling my extreme killing intent, opened one eye lazily and said very helpfully:

'That's none of your business.'

So you can guess how I reacted. Of course I smoothly, calmly, and with a very relaxed voice told him -

'YOU FUCKING RETARDED DUMBASS IDIOT, I WANTED TO FUCKING KNOW WHERE YOU, THE SON OF A BITCH LAZY ASS, HAD FUCKING BEEN, SO YOU, THE MOST ARROGANT BASTARD THAT HAS EVER WALKED ON THIS EARTH, SHALL ANSWER ME _NOW _OR –'

Yes, I was very controlled at that moment. Excuse me for being fucking mad and insane and sushi-craving and loud and bitchy but I ONLY get like this when you've made me wait for hours!

Okay, so I'm always mad and insane and sushi-craving and loud and bitchy _anyway _but that wasn't my point…

'Or what?' He sneered. 'Kill me?'

I was very close to. But then… I couldn't.

No, Orochimaru-sama, it wasn't out of pity. It was… it was…

FINE, I will be honest.

HE HAD A PIECE OF SUSHI BETWEEN HIS THUMB AND FOREFINGER.

I just stopped dead, staring at him… or rather, at the sushi. Until he asked: 'What you staring at?'

'You… you…' My voice was quivering just the slightest as I swallowed. 'Where did you get the sushi?'

He gave me a pondering glance, before he carelessly shrugged and answered: 'Stole it, where do you think?'

I narrowed my eyes. He was seriously pissing me off, more than ever. But I couldn't kill him… not with the sushi.

'How should I know?' I snapped. 'I'm not used to these headquarters. There're no kitchens here anyway. And by the way, isn't this cannibalism? Aren't you a _shark_?'

He just sneered with very taunting amusement. 'Aren't you supposed to be a high-level kunoichi? Ninjas should get accustomed to new grounds easily. And of course there're kitchens here, dumbass. Where do you think they get the food? Go and buy it in villages?'

'We've plenty of undercover spies –'

'To use for such meaningless things as getting food? Boy, they'd have to get lots of food everyday. Wouldn't that be suspicious? Of course they get the food by themselves. We're in the middle of nowhere, idiot.'

I gritted my teeth aggressively, resisting the urge to kill him on the spot and find out more about the sushi. 'Where're those kitchens anyway?'

'In the very end of this base.'

'In the very end?! That's far!'

'Of course it's far, idiot. This base is huge. And by the way, why do you think I was late – window-shopping?'

'How should I know?! You keep resting all the time to get water!'

'That's counted in the time of getting there and back. And as for your question of me being a shark…' His sneer just widened. 'Having pointed teeth doesn't make you a shark.'

I wanted to kill him right then and there, but I couldn't. He still had that piece of sushi. Oh, god… I could kill for that sushi.

And then…

He proceeded to put it in his mouth.

Yes, that evil bastard idiot moron dumbass retard shark-teeth son of a bitch was going to Do It. Put that goddamned godly sushi in his mouth.

I was on the verge of screaming in pure torture.

'NO! DON'T!' I yelled madly before I could stop myself. Then I clasped my hand to my mouth. He blinked, just the slightest astonished.

'Don't what?' he asked.

'The… never mind,' I muttered. He shrugged, then he tried putting it into his mouth again. It felt like time moved in slow motion just to torment me. Finally, I…

'Give me that,' I snapped, and grabbed hold of the sushi, then tried to stuff it into my mouth. I only saw him smirk at me in taunting amusement, before he disappeared in a puff of smoke, and the sushi in my hand became lesser fragile. I soon realized I was holding a smaller version of a Kawarimi no Jutsu.

And that was only the beginning of the night.

He reappeared about ten minutes later in the doorway, the sushi gone. I knew he had eaten it, and knowing so, my killing intent just worsened. He told me so, too. I told him kindly to fuck off and die if he didn't want his lovely pointed teeth knocked out of his mouth.

He told me I was unwomanly.

How DARE he! I might not be the stereotype girlish, foolishly giggling weakling that is called a GIRL, but I am indeed a kunoichi, and a proud one, too!

'Just because you're so damn feminine,' I snapped. 'Look at your hair! It's turquoise.'

'So?' He looked disinterested. 'Turquoise is a blend of blue and green. Blue is the color of a boy, isn't it?'

'I know that. But you're probably dying your hair! And that's feminine! I bet your hair in reality is a really ugly color!'

'Exactly why would I need to dye my hair? Ladies want me anyway.'

'Ladies my ass! I bet your mom was ashamed when she gave birth to you!'

'Tch. Same for you; she must've mistook for you a son. Or maybe she wish you were one.' He paused. 'I bet you're a guy in disguise.'

'Just because you're a GIRL in disguise! And I'm not a guy!'

'I'm not the slightest feminine, in case you've noticed. But you're very chauvinistic. I bet you can't even sing.'

'What does _that _have to do with anything?'

He stared at me for a long time, and just as I was about to yell at him to stop staring, he said very slowly, as though talking to an unintelligent child: 'Females sing. Males don't.'

'Of course they do, you dork! Have you never heard of Ne-Yo or Mario or…' I trailed off. Oops. Aren't all those famed for their love songs? He smirked.

'Never thought you had that side. What happened with the cruel, merciless _man _we all know as Karin –'

He can thank God and his mother he can turn to water. Or else he'd be deader than Kabuto will be once Orochimaru-sama has lost interest in him. Wait, is there even a word called 'deader'?

Anyhow, I was still mad, so I huffed and said I could sing. So he just lazily leaned back and told me to start, then.

But, well, I…

Okay, to be honest, I don't listen to music much.

But hey! It's not my fault! I train all the time –

Orochimaru-sama, I'm not saying I don't like training, it's just…

Well, I just don't listen to music much. When I do, it's mostly _relaxing _music (it's NOT because it's CUTE or anything disgusting like that, it's more… after a hard training you just don't want to listen to… ah, never mind) and I refuse to sing a – a _love song _to the bonehead. So the only fast song I knew was…

'Shake that ass with me, shake that ass with me! C'mon girl, shake that ass with me, shake that ass with me – ah, ah! Shake that ass with me –'

I think Mr. Idiot was about to die out of laughter. (Too bad he didn't.)

But, eh, HELLO! It's not my damn fault Orochimaru-sama listened to that song on his Walkman cellphone a HUNDRED times while he was informing me of my next mission –

Wait, Orochimaru-sama, I'm not saying I dislike your music! I'm not blaming it on you either!

It's probably all that Kabuto kid's fault. Yes, I bet it was his way of annoying me, Orochimaru-sama, I'd advise you to get rid of him soon, he'll be in the way.

Anyhow, after Mr. Shithead Shark Teeth had stopped laughing and having dodged approximately 1000 kunai (did I by the way mention we get too few kunai? Not to complain, Orochimaru-sama – it's just a small, uh, remark… I bet it's Kabuto's fault! Yeah!), he said:

'If you call that singing feminine, I don't want to see you _dressing up_ as a girl – do you even _own _a dress? Or a skirt, for that matter?'

'Of course I do!' I exclaimed, my face burning – I don't know why, though. I must've a fever. Yes, that's it, I've a fever – Kabuto food-poisoned me, didn't he? That son of a bitch… but don't worry, Orochimaru-sama, I can still go on missions! 'It's just that I don't wear them that often!'

He snorted. 'Of course you don't. If you did and there was a breeze and your skirt flew up, we'd know you're a guy.'

So after I had run out of poisonous shuriken to throw at him (and accidentally hitting the food deliverer in the head with one), I calmed down and became _even _hungrier than I already was. And since I had now killed the food deliverer, who had naturally dropped the damned food on the floor so that it now was ruined, we no longer had any food to eat.

I mean, _I _no longer had any food to eat. The son of a bitch bastard dumbass had already eaten sushi!

So after I was done throwing some other random things at him (I _swear _that it wasn't me who destroyed the sofa, Orochimaru-sama! Or the shelf… or the table… or the – I should just shut up, shouldn't I?), I decided to go to bed.

There was only one problem, though.

Orochimaru-sama, I've to ask you one thing. I know you always make sensible decisions, but this just doesn't make _plain sense _(unless it was Kabuto's decision. It was, wasn't it? He disobeyed you! Please execute him – he'll probably be disloyal in the future, I swear)! Why would you put _one _king-sized bed here? _One_?!?!?!?!

I mean, I know it's for cooperation and all, but… we don't have to _sleep _with each other, do we? It's bad enough that we've to LIVE with each other now!

Okay, wait. That came out the wrong way.

ME? SLEEPING WITH MR. IDIOT SHARK TEETH? EWWWWWWWWW! (And I mean both meanings. Or if there're any other hidden meanings, all of them too.)

So as you can guess, we got into a battle again. (Or more like I scolded him, picked up some kunai and threw them around wildly because he kept dodging them and running around me in a circle – but I wasn't the one who destroyed the kitchenette, though! Or the bedside table or the mirror or the… I _should _learn how to shut up.)

And then, all of a sudden, he… he… he…

HE PULLED OUT A GODDAMNED FRICKIN' PIECE OF SUSHI OUT OF HIS POCKET.

I swear! I've no idea how it got there. He said he saved the last piece, and naturally I tried to tackle him, but he only dodged. (I'm not saying he's better than me. But what would you do if you were starving, sushi-craving, and _**somebody **__waved a goddamned piece of sushi in front of your face_?!)

So he said… that in exchange for the king-sized bed, he'd give me the sushi.

And stupidly enough, I _agreed_. But I couldn't help it! My stomach was practically screaming by now! I could've gone as far as killed Orochimaru-sama for a piece of sushi –

No, WAIT! Orochimaru-sama, I didn't really MEAN that! It's… it's just an expression, okay? An expression!!!

Why was I smart (NOT) enough to write in this thing with ink?

Oh, wait. I don't have a normal pencil. Or an eraser for that matter.

How great.

And then he went into the bedroom, took the king-sized bed, and left me there on the (wrecked) sofa to sleep. So I tried to take a bite out of my sushi, and then…

It became a Kawarimi no Jutsu. Another mini-version.

I was SO close to just burst through the door and torture him in 101 ways before killing him. (Actually, I tried. But there was one hell of a seal on the door which couldn't be opened no matter what jutsu I tried on it… even Doton jutsus refused to burst it open.) So I just decided to be a civilized person and scream that he was a fucking shithead girl son of a bitch dumbass idiot bastard lazy ass dumb retard and the list goes on and on and on…

So NOW. Can somebody please give me a sushi or at least SOME way to kill that bastard?

Hey, wait. Isn't there another door to this apartment? The back door? I have to walk around the entire base to come to the other side, but it's worth it, I guess… hahahaha… prepare for your death, Shark Teeth!

* * *

Okay, this is my first SuiKa fic ever, and it's dedicated to all the fabulous SuiKa supporters in Narutofan Forums (and all the other SuiKa supporters everywhere else, too!)! If you're new with SuiKa and want to know more about it, join us at the Watermelon Love: Suigetsu x Karin FC at Narutofan Forums - we're not scary, I promise:D (Am the proud owner of the fanclub - the people there are really nice!)

Thanks for reading and please leave me a review! I hope I kept Karin in character. Since we haven't seen much of her, it's hard to determine whether or not she's out of character.


End file.
